Grooming and Sexual Exploitation

Grooming is when someone builds a relationship, trust and emotional connection with a child or young person so they can manipulate and eventually abuse them. This can happen over a long time, sometimes months or longer.

Child sexual exploitation (CSE) is a form of child sexual abuse. A person or group takes advantage of their power, (physical, financial or emotional) to sexually and/or emotionally abuse a child under the age of 18. This often involves situations and relationships where young people receive something in return for participating in sexual activities. this could be things like: somewhere to stay, love and affection, gifts and money and drugs, alcohol and cigarettes. Child sexual exploitation can occur in person or online, many people who have and are suffering, are not aware this is happening.

The ‘boyfriend model’: Usually young men will make you feel special and that you are in a loving relationship. They may buy you lovely things, drive you around, tell you they love you, take you to parties. This then begins to change, they may ask you to pay them back for what they have done for you, in favours, such as providing sex or sex acts for their friends, or say things like “I owe someone some money and can’t pay them back, they said if you have sex with them, I won’t have to pay them back”.

Inappropriate relationships: This could be a family member, friend of the family, a professional (e.g. a teacher), or someone who is much older that is making you do things that make you feel uncomfortable.

Forced Marriage: This is where a child or young person is subject to a marriage without their consent. This is usually arranged for by their immediate or extended family.

Groups that target children specifically online: This could be in chat rooms, on social media. They may encourage you to send photos or videos. They will ask you to do sexual things by threatening to send your photos or videos to people you know or share the personal details of your conversations.

Organised exploitation gangs – They may use a young person to recruit you and other young people with the lure of exciting parties where you can get free alcohol and drugs or use the ‘boyfriend model’.

Physical Contact: They may desensitise you to touch through tickling, hugging, kissing, or small gestures like tucking your hair behind your ear. If any of this feels uncomfortable, trust your instincts—it’s okay to say no. Your body, your choice.

Pushing Boundaries: It often starts small, like asking you to wear your hair a certain way, and gradually escalates to bigger requests.

Making You Feel Special: They may shower you with gifts, compliments, or attention, making you feel important and loved, often rushing into declarations of love.

Mirroring: They copy your experiences and emotions to build a false sense of connection, saying things like, “I’ve been through that too.”

Encouraging Secrecy: They’ll normalise keeping secrets, offering gifts or phones and asking you not to tell anyone, creating a sense of isolation.

Desensitizing to Sexual Content: They might introduce sexual language or images to lower your discomfort and increase compliance.

Threats and Blackmail: They may use fear, saying things like, “No one will believe you,” or threatening harm to you or your loved ones.

Guilt and Manipulation: They may shift blame or use guilt, saying things like, “You wanted this,” or threaten self-harm to keep control.

Push-Pull Tactics: They withdraw or ghost you, then return, creating emotional dependence by making you crave their attention.