Trust

Trust is when you believe someone will be honest and reliable. It means feeling safe enough to depend on someone, whether that’s a friend, family member, or anyone else. Trust builds when people are consistent, open, and respectful. It’s really important because it helps us feel connected with others.

Trust helps us feel safe and secure in our relationships. It makes it easier to rely on others and work together. When we trust people, we feel more comfortable sharing our thoughts and feelings. Trust also helps us create stronger friendships and relationships by building understanding and respect between people.

Trusting other people after experiencing sexual violence can be very difficult. It can be hard to trust friends, family, strangers, teachers and new partners. It’s important to understand that this is a completely normal reaction to trauma. While it might feel like things will never be “normal” again, understanding why you feel this way is a big step toward healing.

You might also feel worried about getting close to someone for many reasons. Maybe you fear they’ll expect more from you than we’re ready to give, or you’re scared we won’t be able to stop someone from crossing our boundaries. This can make you feel unsafe, whether it’s with family, friends, or in romantic relationships. These feelings might make you avoid situations where trust is needed. It can feel easier to ignore it than to deal with setting and protecting boundaries. To trust someone, both our mind and body need to feel safe. Sometimes, even when our mind knows we can trust someone, our body might still feel tense or tell us to back away.

Learning to trust others starts by learning to trust ourselves first. Here are some tips that may help you:

Focus on yourself first. Focusing on ways to help you feel safe first is the best place to start.

Celebrate your progress. Think about the steps you’ve already taken to build trust with people you care about. Even small steps matter, so give yourself credit for them. You can write these down or just think about them.

Learn about healthy relationships. Talk to someone you trust about what healthy relationships look like and how to set boundaries. Or read our information pages on healthy relationships and boundaries and assertiveness.

Understand your reactions. Share your fears and feelings with someone you trust. Talking it out can help you understand your emotions better and release some of the weight you’re carrying. If you prefer, you could write down.

Write it down. If you’re struggling to communicate with someone, try writing out what you want to say. Share what makes you feel safe, what your boundaries are, and how they can support you. Boundaries are your personal rules—they show others what’s okay and what isn’t. At first, it might feel awkward to talk about them, but enforcing your boundaries will make your relationships stronger in the long run.

It’s okay to walk away. If someone in your life can’t respect your boundaries or make you feel safe, it’s okay to distance yourself from that relationship. This might be easier with friends than family, so take the steps that feel right for you. You can create space gradually if needed.

Healing and rebuilding trust takes time, and it’s normal to have setbacks. Trust isn’t something that comes back all at once, it’s a process, and you’re allowed to take it at your own pace.